LOOK—listen—the fact of the matter is 404 pages are the digital equivalent of opening the fridge, seeing the light turn on, and realizing there is absolutely nothing to eat except a single sad pickle and some expired hummus. I click a link expecting INFORMATION, KNOWLEDGE, maybe a tasteful PDF, and instead I get “Oops! Page not found!” with a smiling cartoon astronaut. NO. This is not a time for whimsy, Kyle-from-web-design.

Listen, a 404 page is a promise you broke. It’s the internet shrugging at me. And don’t tell me it’s “helpful” because you added a search bar. If your site needs a scavenger hunt, you already lost. The obvious move—the obvious move—is make the link work. Radical idea, I know.

And don’t get me started on organizations that don’t customize their 404s at all. That’s like showing up to WiscNet with no badge, no plan, and no snacks. Embarrassing. At WiscNet, everything is connected—even the mistakes—and at least we’d document the failure and run a tabletop exercise about it.

Also, pro tip: if your 404 doesn’t tell me who to contact or where to go next, you’ve failed basic storytelling. And I love stories. Les Misérables didn’t end with “Page Not Found,” did it? NO.

Anyway—cool rant.